Friday, October 8, 2010

What the #$%!?

What the ever loving #$%!  is wrong with the local big box stores, like L...s  or W.....t.  You know those stores you just love to hate, you love to cuss them out though not to their face.  The big thing that is wrong with them is their plants. 

Hey you heard me.  They not only sell crappy plants but they sell plants they KNOW will not survive in your local zone.  Sure  they give you a warranty.  BIG DEAL.  First off who is gonna dig up their dead plants and haul them all the way back to the store?  I was one of those idiots that bought the cutest plants.  Bought a bunch of stuff to help those babies grow in my garden.  Took it all home and set to work planting them. 

I worked like a deranged gardener, digging, planting, watering and not 2 months later they were all DEAD.   What the #$%!?  My neighbor owns a landscaping company so I bang on his door, grab him by the arm and drag him to my yard and point at my now dead plants.  WHAT happened?  He looks at me like I lost my ever loving mind.  For one thing the man had been sleeping and was in his boxer shorts....  well too bad.  What happened to my plants?  He then tell me that those will not survive our heat.  I try to tell him that I bought them at L...s  and he is shaking his head and is looking for a way to escape.  He then tells me that most of the big stores sell plants that will not survive in our South Florida Zone 10 which we call Zone HOTTER THAN HELL.  My mind is screaming  WHAT?????  He then tells me they sell those plants knowing that they will not survive because of people like ME.  They know that we will buy what is cute and pretty, then he says that sure they have that warranty, you can haul those dead bug infested plants back to the store and as my neighbor is trying to head back to his house, he turns and says"Don't forget to take your receipt".  I have to take the receipt?  Who keeps the receipt?  NOT me that is for sure.

So I learned something new.  Never ever buy plants at your local big box store BUT if you do make sure you put the receipt somewhere safe like the bank safety deposit box because sure as I am sitting typing this, those plants are gonna kick the bucket. 

Though my story did not have a good outcome for those plants, the story has a totally awesome ending.  My neighbor (Mr. sleepy boxer shorts guy)   delivered a big box of plants to my house and helped me plant them.  What a nice guy.  He also wanted to know when I was gonna break down and plant the vegetable garden in the back.  Who knows I might give in on that one of these days.  Mr. boxer shorts turns his whole entire back yard into a veggie garden every year and he is always delivering the fruits of his labor.


  1. Good story. But I have a neighbor who has been returning dead roses every year for nine years to the other big box store. They actually know him by name in the garden center. He gets a kick out of taking the dead plants back. And for nine years straight, they have been replacing his six yellow roses.

  2. I've been gardening for about 5 years, and that was one of the first lessons I learned lol. Now, I don't live in as hot a zone as you do (mine's 8a), but Lowe's will still sell things that don't do well here. I like them for buying annuals, those have always done ok. But trees and shrubs? I always go to a locally owned garden center.

  3. GARDENWALKGARDENTALK..... I do not even what to think about all those people in a big store garden department KNOWING that I kill my plants LOL and forget about letting them know my NAME. I don't think so. I will suffer the humilation in private, thank you very much.

    I wonder if they keep a list of plant killers on file at each store OR if I wanted to return my murdered plants can I spread them around say all ove South Florida? HeHeHeHe.

    Like I said (Mr boxer shorts neighbor guy) has decided to take pity on me and help me with a little of my gardening, not that it will actually help but I am grateful. I have a old basketball court in my back yard minus the hoop from when my son's were young and I would like to make that into a big area of raised vegetable beds. I am thinking 4' X 4' X 18" deep, sit them on top of the concrete pad, fill with good soil and plant all kids of veggies. Do you think 18" is deep enough or can I go less? Well I can continue to make a plan for that area or I could just make retirement happen sooner and move up to our North Florida house (Zone 8B) which sounds like a better plan to me.

    KYNA............... well you at least learned that lesson. I on the other hand, let those stores crank me in will all the great flower displays and think to myself.. I can make this grow in my garden NOT. I am truely trying NOT to plant anything in my South Florida yard because when I do retire and move to North Florida, I think I will dig up what I do have planted. I wonder how much trouble I would be in if say I sell my house and then come back before the new owners move in and in the dead of night dig up all the plants? Do you think they would track me down and throw me in jail? LOL take me to plant theft court where I have to plead insanity because my garden has truely made me crazy. My family would die of shame, never to show their faces in public again, hiding behind a bag of Black Cow Poo, or having to move to Siberia where they don't grow a single thing. The Shame of it all. LOL

  4. Tricia
    Brings back memories of when I lived in Chicago and didn't know an annual from a perennial. I'd buy some lovely flowering tender plant and then wonder why it didn't return the following summer.
    SOME of the big box stores around here have gotten pretty sophisticated, selling cultivated varieties that were outrageously expensive at select nurseries just five years ago. That said, much of the plant material sold by the 'big box' .. most is pedestrian and boring. Not so much a problem here with zones not being appropriate.
    Hang in there!!!! xoxo LOL

  5. So, you are going to plant a garden, then dig it up when you move, make David drive hours on end and then, what?, force him to transplant your garden before it dies? YOU ARE MY CRAZY AUNT. Want some strawberries? Gary can bring 'em to you when he comes through. I have a greenhouse full of plants in every container available (including recycling bins, coolers, buckets and boxes). You are more than welcome to some.

  6. Look who's calling me crazy....My niece the suvivialist with boat loads of food stored at her house.

    Yes I would love some strawberries.

    Take pictures of your greenhouse, I would love to see it.

    Did I tell you I WON a newspaper Pot Maker? You make pots out of newspaper for starting seeds or transplants. I won it on a garden site that was having a quiz on gardening and I answered all the questions right. Yipeeeee the Pot Maker is totally kewl

    P.S. after 37 years I do not need to FORCE your uncle D do anything nor would I actually dig up my plants from here BUT I will be doing cuttings for you come Spring. I will do the same for myself when we finally get to Live Oak.

  7. I have learned from experience that I have to watch out for the invasive plants, as well. That was nice of Mr. Sleepy Boxer Shorts. :)

  8. AMY
    I think my neighbor would be HORRIFIED to know I am calling him Mr. Sleepy Boxer Shorts LOL

    Here in South Florida just about everything can become evasive.

    Thanks for reading my blog.